Hacks for surviving the first term and beyond as a busy (and potentially guilt-free) parent

Feeling like you’re already in the midst of a paper explosion of To-Do notes? You were going to take it easier this year; get that work-life-mom balance. Only you’ve already forgotten those resolutions made before the jam-packed school and work days were in the spotlight once more.

“If you feel you’ve been thrown into the deep end wondering how long you can keep up the juggling act between school-work-home, then welcome to my world,” says Amanda Rogaly, founder and Chief Mommy of leading parenting portal BabyYumYum. “While it’s a work in progress, I find that certain strategies keep everyone, everything and myself on track,” says Amanda who shares her top 8 hacks on surviving the first term as a busy parent.

1. Back-up

Technology is your best friend – well, that and your go-to inner circle of other moms and family who can help you when your multitasking skills don’t stretch as far as being in two places at the same time.

Instead of juggling meeting an urgent deadline and picking up the kids, create a WhatsApp group that provides a safety net. When you can’t make it on time, you can ask someone from the group to fetch your kids and then return the favour when they need your help too.

2. Reminders

The benefit of having your cell phone with you 24/7 is being able to set reminders.

“Keeping all your To-Do notes on your phone means everything’s in one central, accessible place – from shopping lists to appointments to kids’ arrangements, birthdays, etc. It’s the perfect way to appear like supermom regardless of how you may be otherwise be feeling on the inside.

3. Ground rules

“Rules keep everyone organised and on the same page. It also helps kids know what’s expected of them and teaches them self-control,” says Amanda, who recommends rules for time-related tasks such as homework and watching TV.

4. Prep the night before

Do whatever you can the night before to clear up your morning time. Get the snacks and school lunches ready. Better still, prepare in advance for the week and freeze where you can.

Remember, it’s never too early to get kids involved in helping to get ready. It’s empowering and builds confidence in their independence and abilities. Safe, age-appropriate tasks like packing their school bag at night for the next day, setting out clean clothes and putting away worn clothes in the laundry basket become ingrained habits and are internalised as behaviour.

 Making it fun

While strutting your stuff as supermom aka getting to school/work on time and sorting out homework/ shopping, preparing food, etc. can be exhausting, it’s essential to also spend time with your kids just having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

“Schedule a dedicated night each week to be together when the kids choose how to spend the time together with you,” says Amanda. “Connecting is about the little things – playing their favourite game or putting a special snack or note in your kids’ lunch boxes.”

6. Acknowledgement (for yourself and your kids)

Cut yourself some slack and embrace the journey: the days when everything is going according to the so-called plan and those days when even Plan B needs some urgent revisions… you’re human. You’re doing your best. Ditch your inner critic and acknowledge how much you are doing right.

In the same vein, when it comes to the kids, find ways to acknowledge them too. Whether they helped tidy up or did their homework or packed their bag for the next day, find a way to acknowledge them.  It’ll do wonders to encourage the good behaviour.

7. Time out (for you, not the kids)

While relaxing at the end of the day once the kids are in bed may sound ideal in theory, you’re probably too tired to really enjoy it. How about giving yourself some quality time in the morning instead? By waking up 15 or 30 minutes before the official start of the day with your family, you can enjoy a cup of coffee or tea at your leisure. Sitting outside and enjoying the sounds of the birds with your dog/cat/SO for company makes for a tranquil way to begin each day.

8. Avoid the guilt trap
   Whether you are a working parent or not, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with your kids is something most parents experience.

“Guilt is partly what we think we should be doing and partly being influenced by what is considered being a ‘good mom’,” says Amanda. “Keep in mind, that no one is perfect. Not even you. Focus on what you are doing and why you are doing it. Usually that little person is right there at the centre of it all, motivating everything that you do.

“In the end, while the big things are important, the little things carry more weight than we know – from making popcorn, sharing a milkshake, watching television or eating supper together – you are making special memories that will continue long after the mommy guilt is gone,” concludes the BabyYumYum founder.